Ritual Procrastination.
The final stage of my initiation has been announced, although it really needn’t have taken so much build up, with hours of veiled doomsaying. We’ve told Sebastian that it’s called the Ritual Of The Bloods, to take place on Sunday the 6th of May. Or I’ve told him, since the group only speak to him through me. He managed to ask as much as what it entailed, but I think that was more for politeness. He only keeps me here at all as an excuse to keep seeing his mystery woman. I’m his academic-investigative beard. If he was fully committed to finding Challoner he would have followed up that lead in Edinburgh, instead of dismissing it.
I realised last night that as much as the group want to be inhuman, they crave witnesses to what they’re doing. That’s the only reason for the theatrics of their clothes: they want everyone to know how little regard they have for them; there’s no reason why they can’t wear jeans and a T-shirt like everybody else. They also keep talking about things in front of me that they’ve told me before is forbidden, like last night, when they wondered whether or not the master would approve of my taking part in the ritual. I had assumed up till then that the ritual was part of the trick being played on Sebastian – that was how it felt when I told him about it – but the way they were talking, it seems to be a genuine rite that they all went through. They went on, referring to their master, and what he would have done to help them - which sort of ignores the reason they’re in a bind in the first place. It’s pathetic really, to see them deferring to some absent authority, who was most likely just a man anyway.
I have considered joining the cottage folk in the pub, since I’ve been left to my own devices. At least they don’t want to perform rituals and make me carry out strange missions before they decide to trust me – a nice chat over a drink to get the measure of me is all that’s required. I also considered asking Sebastian to be a character witness for me, but I don’t want him to be involved in this. I get the feeling that he’d only mess it up for me. It will be nice to know someone around here properly, since all I’ve done for the last month is drift from street to street, getting more and more resentful of these people with places to go and things to do.
I realised last night that as much as the group want to be inhuman, they crave witnesses to what they’re doing. That’s the only reason for the theatrics of their clothes: they want everyone to know how little regard they have for them; there’s no reason why they can’t wear jeans and a T-shirt like everybody else. They also keep talking about things in front of me that they’ve told me before is forbidden, like last night, when they wondered whether or not the master would approve of my taking part in the ritual. I had assumed up till then that the ritual was part of the trick being played on Sebastian – that was how it felt when I told him about it – but the way they were talking, it seems to be a genuine rite that they all went through. They went on, referring to their master, and what he would have done to help them - which sort of ignores the reason they’re in a bind in the first place. It’s pathetic really, to see them deferring to some absent authority, who was most likely just a man anyway.
I have considered joining the cottage folk in the pub, since I’ve been left to my own devices. At least they don’t want to perform rituals and make me carry out strange missions before they decide to trust me – a nice chat over a drink to get the measure of me is all that’s required. I also considered asking Sebastian to be a character witness for me, but I don’t want him to be involved in this. I get the feeling that he’d only mess it up for me. It will be nice to know someone around here properly, since all I’ve done for the last month is drift from street to street, getting more and more resentful of these people with places to go and things to do.
posted by The son of Edward Fold at 11:13 am
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